I Know

The aura is the spirit of your being. The spirit of your being—what I call the God of your being—connects directly to the Mind of God, the flow of consciousness where all things are known. One part of the aura is a powerful electromagnetic field of positive and negative electrum. Beyond the electromagnetic field there are no divisions to the electrum; it is an undivided light sphere, which is pure energy. The light sphere allows all thought from the river of knowingness to flow through this great and powerful field. Which thoughts become known to you is determined by your thought processes, for the electromagnetic portion of your aura draws thought to you according to your thinking.

—Ramtha

This is for myself, too. I've known that we have access to any information that we want, but this explains how that all works. This is awesome. One of my goals in life is to write a book about the Universe, how human beings came to be and how everything works and all that, because I want to know that information for myself and I couldn't find it anywhere, so I said, heck, I'll write it myself! But then I came across this book and it's exactly what I was looking for! I'll still write my own book someday, but for now, this one has given me lots to process and digest and mull over.

I Am Light and Emotion

What you truly are is spirit and soul, a light entity and an emotional entity combined. Your spirit—this little point of light—surrounds all molecular structures of your body; thus it houses and supports the mass of your embodiment. Your soul lies within the mass, near your heart, in a cavity under a shield of bone wherein nothing exists except electrical energy. Your soul records and stores—in the form of emotion—every thought you have ever entertained. It is because of the unique collectiveness of emotions stored within your soul, that you have a unique ego-identity, or personality-self. The body that you inhabit is simply a carriage, a chosen, refined vehicle that allows you to live and play upon a plane of matter.

—Ramtha

I had to type this out just for myself so that I can let it marinate for a while. The only piece of information that's new for me really is the description of the soul, where it exactly is and all that, and I like it—it rings true to me.

My Fish Is Coming II

It happened again! I was walking on the beach and as I passed the fishermen, one of them ran toward his pole that was sticking out from the sand. The upper end of it was wiggling—his line was being pulled! He picked up his pole and began to reel in his catch as his pole-less friend who had walked into the water up to his waist appeared to coach him, or maybe he was just making commentary, I don't know. Minutes later, the fish was dragged in from the ocean. Wow! Two fish, two days in a row! Not for the men, but for me, the witness.

Mine is coming. I know it.

My Fish Is Coming

Last night I talked to God. I was upset. I was angry. I've been feeling on the verge of something for a long time, something really powerful, and I was tired of constantly being in the state of transformation but not really getting to the emergence. I'm ready, I told him. Bring it on. I went to sleep determined. I am going to remember at every moment that I am spirit and I'm not going to let this illusion of physical reality make me forget that I can create anything I want and receive it. It is time for me to receive.

Every morning I'm out on the beach getting my fill of negative ions and I see all these guys and sometimes their wives out there with their super long fishing poles and I wonder, do they ever catch anything? Or are they fishing for the experiencing of fishing, like a meditation? To get away from it all? Why??? Why are they disturbing my walk along the shoreline with all their poles? Not that I can't share my beach with others, but there are a lot of them. A LOT. Like ridiculous.

Today as I walked by them, I noticed something was different. There was excitement in the air. A bunch of them were standing in the water in their pant-boots, poles in hands, waiting, but one guy's pole was being tugged and he was looking around at his fellow fishermen, expectant, while continually reeling in his line. I stopped walking and watched. It took a few minutes but he eventually pulled in this huge fish, maybe 2 to 3 feet in length and wider than my thigh. Wow. He caught a fish! He dragged his prize into shore, right by me, and I saw his energy of pride and success and I matched it—it felt good. I saw that this moment for him is like winning the lottery. This is why—this moment makes buying tickets a couple of times every week totally worth it. He sparkled.

This was my answer from God. Keep my chin up, my fish is coming in.

Sacramento Fun

The only other time that I can remember being in Sacramento was for History Day in high school. My group had won a spot to present our project at the state level, so that was pretty exciting.

I couldn't really remember anything else about it, so this weekend, my friend and I went there for a healing event to reset our Money space to its natural abundance, then just for fun stayed the night and spent the next day hanging out. Walking around Old Sacramento, we saw this gold bridge:

I'm still partial to my Golden Gate, but this photo with the glow is pretty amazing.

For lunch, we ate at Fat City Bar & Cafe, assuming from the looks of the menu and the ambiance that it was a regular American type of restaurant. The second I walked in, people turned and looked at me and I felt the vibe that I am very distinctly Chinese. I looked around and noticed that most people were not. I told this to my friend and we joked about it. Later he picked up a sugar packet that had what looked like a cursive Chinese character on it. I said, "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if this is actually a Chinese restaurant or it's owned by a Chinese guy? Fat? That could be Chinese." And they have chow mein, which I almost ordered, but I thought it might be weird for the almost mute (keep reading, you'll find out why) Chinese girl to order the Chinese dish, especially when I was also wearing braids and glasses at the time—way too much ethnic culture all at once. But because of my limited Chinese vocabulary, I wasn't able to read the character and thus could not verify any such fact, so it remained our little joke.

Until now...

Fat's Restaurants: Unique Asian Dining Concepts, hahaha! But check out their pictures in the Gallery, they totally don't look Asian at all!

So maybe I felt that vibe not because it was rare to have Chinese people there, but because I was noticing the energy of the restaurant recognizing me as one of their people. Hmm...

After lunch we drove to Old Town Auburn, which was another old town, but very much updated with new stores and many, many restaurants.

So here's one way to have fun when you're sick: I've had this cough & cold for a few days, and my voice is entirely hoarse, so to rest my throat, in lieu of speaking, I sometimes gestured to my friend, who is the most horrible guesser (yes, I am the greatest made-up sign language expert, haha), and it provided us with some of the funnest and funniest moments during this trip. I gestured things like, "Whole Foods," which I thought was easy to guess, but he didn't, and "Why is there no light coming out of the top of the fake Luxor hotel?" which he actually (eventually) guessed right!

Anyway, thanks to this wonderful half a weekend, now I have all new memories of Sacramento.

Hunk of Burning Love

Apparently, my organic white pita bread loves me:

Sunshine

I watched Sunshine Cleaning yesterday, and I really liked it. It's a movie about people who go into the crime scene clean-up business, where they pretty much clean up blood and fluids and other stuff after people have died. It's gross and gory and you think, well, who would enjoy doing stuff like that? In one scene, the main character Rose gets asked that question, whether she likes her work, and she answers that (I paraphrase) death is something that everyone goes through, and in her own small way, she's helping.

I was channel surfing a couple of nights ago and this black man was being introduced as something like a minister / MUNI driver and I thought that sounded kinda interesting, so I watched on, and he and 3 other people reviewed this Chinese restaurant here in San Francisco, giving it such rave reviews, especially the green onion pancakes, which GG loves. So after the movie yesterday, GG and I went to try these pancakes at Red Jade, and the place was packed and they were out of pancakes! I wonder how many people were there because of the TV show. Anyway, we ordered potstickers instead and ate other stuff, and at the end of the meal, I got my fortune cookie and my fortune said:

Weird, huh?

Well, I'm not cleaning up after anybody, dead or alive. However, everyone has their own brand of sunshine, and in my own small way, I hope my sunshine brightens your day.

Have a good one.

Pink Chair and Dining Ware

I asked the Universe for some things and they are manifesting left and right, from Target!

What I Want to Create

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When I started this project, I thought it was fairly obvious what I want to create, depicted by the different quadrants of the collage: Home, Style, Your (My) Best Life...

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The upper right corner I knew was my career section, and I thought I just didn't label it, but when the collage was completed, I realized that I did label that corner—I called it Wonderland. It's the place where dreams come true. It's better than just a job or just a career, it's a whole land of magic and wonder, and that is what I want to create.

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But there was still something missing. I had all of the quadrants identified; in Your (My) Best Life, I practically made a list just in case the Universe doesn't read between the lines for the things that didn't show up in the pictures; but I wasn't getting something—the Visioning process usually reveals something not consciously known. Ah! Dialogue with my Creative Self!

My Creative Self is the symbol of my true self, my real essence. It is the actual creator of the Vision collage. Using my left hand to write for my Creative Self and my right hand to write for me, I interviewed each key element and asked what part of myself it expresses, what it wants from me, and I discovered that this isn't simply about what physically I want to create; it's all about Self Expression—not just expressing my thoughts through pictures and words in this project, but breaking out of my shell and expressing myself in life, letting it all out for the world to see.

• Home, where I usually want my privacy, surprisingly told me to open up. It expresses my heart, and it said, "You can show yourself to the world. It's okay." And then I recognized the significance of the photo of what I knew was not indoors but had thought of as the inside of the house, the fact that it is actually outdoors.
• Nature expresses the God in me. It wants me to play and not worry about the dirt; be free and play.
• The angel and fairy express my power to create: "I want you to believe in yourself. Trust your talents. Do what you came to do."
• The women said, "I express your love of self, your own ability to charm yourself and find yourself interesting. I want you to go out and be you, be alluring, do not be afraid of people out there. You are your own party." My outer style is for my Inner Me.
• The guitar: "I express your ability to heal. I want you to be fearless in your art. You have so much inside to express and you bottle it up. Let it out!" And right underneath the guitar: "Be Heard". Exactly.

It was quite a shock. I looked at my collage again with the new information from the dialogue and I now see where it's telling me to stop hiding, step out into the open, it's okay.

Well, I've put up the collage and I'm letting it do its magic. Let's see what happens.

J, the Letter of Intuition

The beach has been calling to me. When the sun is out I am usually drawn to go outside to places like the beach, the Wharf, Marina, etc., but lately it's been mostly the beach. I like walking up and down that stretch from the beach to the Cliff House. Today, as I started the walk back down from the Cliff House, something inside me told me to go to the ledge and look down over the little wall. I almost ignored it, because I thought, oh, it's just telling me to admire the view and I've seen that view before, but the nudge was insistent. So I went and looked over the wall and admired the view, and it took me a few seconds to realize that there was actually something different to look at.

A bunch of people were raking this pattern on the sand:

It appeared that they had drawn the long lines and then they were rounding out the angles. One kid was helping his mom (?), filling in a corner and having her check his work. She raked over the borders to clean the edges. Two men consulted with each other on the progress. They looked like the leaders of the pack. As they all finished up, they walked toward the rocks at the bottom of the cliff.

The artists then climbed up the rocks to admire their work:

The two men who had consulted each other, one of them, probably not the main artist but the perfectionist one, went back down, grabbed a rake and fixed some lines. The other man, who appeared to be the conceptualizer, after a few moments, also went back down to rerake some lines, but he was basically done and completely happy with the result. I think he went down to tell the other guy it's good. And it is.

I continued my walk, peering out over the ledge a few more times to see the art from different heights and views and realized that the exact place where Intuition had called me over to see the Web was the perfect place to see it from, because further down the way, I couldn't even really tell there was anything to look at.

***

I'm changing my handwriting by practicing the Vimala Alphabet. I'm practicing about 5 letters at a time for 40 days, and I'm on the letter J, the Letter of Intuition:

The J reflects how we feel about something or someone, not emotionally, but that kind of feeling-knowing triggered by the sixth sense we all possess, called by such names as insight, intuition, psychic ability, or hunches. The J represents instinctual knowledge—that gut feeling that we know is correct even though we may set it aside as implausible—and later wish we had "listened."

...It will give you permission to act on the knowledge that logic is not the only way to reach conclusions or make decisions. It will remove any overly vigilant mental guardedness and give you direct access to your intuitive nature. It will encourage you to act on your gut feelings.

—Vimala Rodgers, Your Handwriting Can Change Your Life

I'm on Day 22 of the Letter J, and so far, it has given me a lesson on trusting that if something you want shows up in your life, even if it's unexpected, to just go ahead and get it because it may not show up again for a while. I lived without my Scharffen Berger unsweetened cocoa powder for almost 2 weeks (!) because I didn't think I'd have to buy it in a winery in Napa. And because of that lesson, when J called me to try on a cute trench coat in a color that I normally would not consider, I did, and it fits me perfectly and I love it. Today, J showed me passion and creativity through a group of people making art for no other reason than just doing it, and it was great.

***

On the way back to my car, I caught this lovely, girly-lashed beauty smiling:

It was good day. Thank you, J, for bringing me to the beach.